it's been too long.

I will try to keep this post brief, though it has been so long since I updated that I'm not sure if that's possible.  Gosh, where to start.  Well, first of all, I am anxious to leave this place and begin doing hard, manual, exhausting, work.  I have "rested" so much here at home and now I simply want to live life, working in the hot Ugandan sun, and being exhausted by the days end, knowing that I had done something that day.  That something was accomplished for His Kingdom with my hands that He created.

I guess the best way to describe the past month-ish is that God has surprised me in many ways.  I have been earnestly seeking His face in every conversation, walk in the park, word I read, and I have found Him in the most surprising places.  I did notice that I am so anxious to do works for His Kingdom, that I have begun to disobey His order for me to rest and "just be" with Him.  This is what He has asked of me in my preparations, and I guess I have been so excited about Africa that this order is seemingly hard.  Though each time I seek His face, I am brought back into His loving embrace, and am filled with an indescribable and holy peace.  It is at these moments that I allow myself to rest.  I long to carry this peace with me through every minute of everyday.  It is so wonderful.  

One time I would like to share where I experienced God's peace lately was last Sunday.  I had decided to check out a different church that a few friends of mine had gone to that was a bit more contemporary than the church I currently attend.  Just that week, I had finally followed through and had begun to look over and study the scriptures that my coordinators at Empower A Child suggested to me: Romans 12, and Philippians 2:1-5.  This in itself brought me incredible joy.  When I first began to seriously read the Bible this summer, I remember reading the book of Romans over and over again because I loved it so much.  It continues to be my favorite book in the New Testament.  I am always surprised when people comment on how difficult of a book it is, because I am always so blessed by the simplicity of the message God has woven for me into Paul's beautiful words.  Thus, whenever someone suggests that I read a chapter or passage in Romans, not only am I eager to do so, but it just gives me an incredible peace that it is God's hand guiding me there.  Upon receiving this suggestion from the organization I will be traveling with, I smiled because I knew it was a confirmation of my place that He has reserved for me with this organization.  The part of Romans 12 that truly stuck out the most to me, that I feel God wants me to continue to dwell on, is the passage about the Body of Christ.  Being one in Spirit and with Christ, but each part having a different function according to the gifts that we have been given.  This made me question what my gifts are.  This is something I still struggle with.  I've never had the highest self-esteem, and I truly couldn't tell you too many areas I am incredibly gifted in.  The Lord has blessed me with a few answers on the gifts He has given me, but I know there is more that He has blessed me with that I will continue to seek Him on.  However, when I attended this church on Sunday, a guest speaker from California spoke on how to discern the gifts God has given us to be able to understand even a little bit of His plan for our lives.  This was an incredible blessing, and is something I will continue to seek on, as I still do not have all the answers.  After this service, I felt the need to go to a park and just be with God in prayer for a while.  I have to admit, I have been SEVERELY slacking in my prayer life lately, partially because I haven't felt God really speaking anything to me, and I don't know why this frustrates me so much.  So when I got to the park and began to pray, I asked for Him to speak to me.  I received nothing.  Finally, I became brutally honest with Him, I admitted my frustrations to Him and demanded that He speak to me somehow.  At that moment, a gust of wind whistled through the leaves in the tree branches above me, sending goosebumps up my arms, and enveloping me in His holy peace.  That day, God was with me and I could feel it every moment.  He spoke through the wind...incredible!  I remember feeling that wind and smiling as I began to relax in His presence.  God reached down through these gusts of air He created and brushed my hair behind my ears, where He whispered a loving message of peace.  He reminded me that He is with me, and always has been, and that right now He just wants me to be aware of that.  One of the most beautiful experiences of my life.  

All in all, I feel incredibly blessed right now.  There is still much work to be done, and there are still questions that need to be answered.  It's true that there are many paths before me, and that I have a long way to go, but today I just have to take one step.  I am only worrying about today, tomorrow has troubles of it's own.  

This weekend, I am going to visit my roommate before I leave on this incredible journey God is preparing me for.  I am praying that it will be filled with blessings.  

9 days.  It is still hard to believe that the red Ugandan soil that I have only ever dreamed of will be my home in such a short time.