joyjoyjoy!

Well, for those of you I haven't told yet...

I GOT ACCEPTED TO THE MINISTRY SUPPORT TEAM FOR EMPOWER-A-CHILD!  WHICH MEANS I GET TO GO TO AFRICA!

Which means it's real.  It's happening.  God wants me to go, and I'm going.  Wow.  The reality that this summer I will spend somewhere around two months in Uganda astounds me.  Uganda.  The beautiful red mud, rolling green valleys, gaping rivers and enormous lakes, village huts, busy cities, open markets, orphanages, hospitals, juvenile detention centers, baby's homes, and IDP camps that my heart yearns to see.  The children that my heart breaks for, and that my arms reach out to embrace.  The people whose harsh realities send shivers up my back and tears flowing down my face.  I pray for these people everyday.  People I haven't met yet, people I will meet, and people I may never meet.  But I am going.  My yes is on the table, and I will be there soon.  My dear friends who I do not know yet, I yearn for your company, your stories, your words of wisdom, your tears, your struggles, our friendships. I excitedly search for the preparations being made by God to help me better serve His Kingdom, and the plans that He has for my time in Uganda.  Though, this has been made a secret that I will soon discover in a few short months.  All of this excites me to the point that I think my heart will burst in anxiety, excitement, wonder, and joy.

Oh Lord, you continue to bless me, and I am eternally grateful.  

Just some food for thought...

Yesterday I bought a Camelbak refillable water bottle.

I was thinking, how much money do Americans waste on bottled water?  Did you know that there is nothing special about bottled water?  It is literally the same as water from the tap.  

Not only would using a refillable water bottle save companies from using plastic, a material harmful to our environment that lazy people choose not to recycle anyways, but Americans could save millions of dollars that could be used somewhere where it is actually needed. 

I mean, how selfish can we be?  We have water, running water, available right at our fingertips anytime we need it.  And instead, we choose to buy that same water that we could have had for free, in a small bottle that is harmful to our environment.  

Maybe those millions of dollars could go somewhere that doesn't have running water.  I'm sure they'd appreciate it.  

Wowza

So today is the 19th anniversary of my birth.  Looking back on the changes that have happened not only within the last 6-7 months, but within the whole 19 years of my life is incredible.  I am noticing more and more everyday how blessed I am.

Africa Update:  There has been a change of plans.  With the program I was originally looking at (H.E.A.L.S. Uganda) I have become very frustrated, and I feel that God has shut that door for now.  I have prayed earnestly about whether it is still in God's will for me to go to Africa and I have never received a more clear answer from Him.  Yes, I will go, and soon.  I have found a different company called Empower A Child (www.empower-a-child.org) and I am very very hopeful that this is the right company to go with.  I have applied to go for 2 months and be a part of a Ministry Support Team based in Kampala, Uganda.  Through this team I would learn the cultural norms and taboos within all aspects of Ugandan life.  Then each morning, a team of volunteers from all around the world get together and do daily devotions, seeking God's will for that day.  Depending on where God is leading us that day, the company will take us to that ministry.  They volunteer at Babies' Homes, Orphanages, Hospitals for children severely injured by the war, a Youth School, a "Soup Kitchen" or sorts, and the best part is, if I feel led to go to Gulu and experience the IDP camps, work with Invisible Children, or even H.E.A.L.S., they have promised to do anything in their power to get me there.  Also, money wise I am feeling very confident.  I have enough money for everything except my plane ticket, of which the price has dropped by $1000.  I now only need $3000 total, and I am just over halfway there.  Recently I was praying and was very frustrated with worrying about the money getting in on time, and being prepared for the trip.  Then I met a couple at a local church in Holland I have been attending who were missionaries in Uganda for a few months.  They told me their story.  God provided them with $1000 the day before they left for Uganda, which was exactly the amount they needed to be able to fully commit.  Money and plane tickets are small things for God to figure out, and I am trusting.  Also, everyday this week I have received a very generous check in the mail from various people.  God's provision fills me with awe.  

With all of that good, I am having a lot of struggles spiritually. 

1.  I can't pray eloquently.  It's something I struggle with ALL the time.  Literally me praying is casually talking to God.  "Hey God, what's up?  Well here's what's going on with me..." which is great, I think, but then it comes time to pray in a big group setting and I get so nervous!  Though, the Lord has revealed to me, and many others I am in community with, that He is calling all believers to a season of prayer.  God is moving, and quickly, and with that Satan is not satisfied.  We need to rebuild our temple, and rebuke false teachings and false beliefs.  What a perfect time for the Lord to be my Teacher.  

Lord, teach me how to pray.

2.  I have been feeling the need to get more in-tune with God's Spirit and have been praying for that earnestly.  However, I have had a few instances lately where God's Spirit has guided me to say or do something, and I was too cowardly to follow through.  Too concerned about what others would think of me.  Galatians 1:10 "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I trying to please men?  If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."  

Lord, help me to truly be your servant and listen to Your commands, and help me to overcome the guilt of the calls I have ignored.  

3.  God has placed a lot of people on my heart lately, and I don't know what to do when I pray for them or what to pray for.  This longing to understand these people's struggles and give them up to God is distracting me from everything.  

Lord, help me to focus on what needs to be done on this earth, so that Your name will be glorified.  Also, that I will be okay with not knowing or understanding these people's struggles if it is not in Your will for me to do so, and that simply by praying for them You will take care of the rest.

4.  God has laid the book of Ezekiel on my heart, and I haven't taken the time to read it yet.  I desperately want to find the time, but I keep getting distracted, though I am excited to see what God will reveal to me through His words.  

Lord, allow me the time to dive into Your word and listen to what you have to say to me.  

Lots of stuff, my life is chaos.  A whirlwind of growth, desperation, hunger, yearning to love and to know Love more.  

I wouldn't have it any other way.