It still amazes me how perfect His plans are and further affirms my trust in Him. First of all, this morning we went to Sanyu Babies Home, a different home than the last one, and I had a much better experience. The organization was much more organized, and I could tell these kids were being raised well, whereas the previous home seemed to always be in some sort of disarray. I was blessed by a woman who I helped do laundry with, I told her I was from Michigan in America and her face dropped in shock as she dropped what she was doing. She told me her brothers have been living in Michigan for 20 years and she hasn't spoken to them since she left, she wanted to write a letter and maybe send them some things and asked if I could deliver them to her brothers either by mail or by visiting them. I told her if she could get me their address I would happily do that. She was so excited, I can't wait to talk with her again.
Just to begin, I will type up a bit of what I wrote in my journal this morning, as I feel this sums up much of the things that go on in my head that is hard to sort through:
"Lord Jesus,
I love to picture You walking along the streets of this city. Each time we drive to a project, a school, a church, I let the reality of this place sink into my being. That the huts on the side of the road are not only someone's only form of shelter, but that they most likely hold many people of all ages in a space smaller than my dorm room. It makes me anxious to see how much needs to be done here. This morning, however, I am reminded of a verse that has been prayed over my trip by a dear friend. Song of Songs 4:16 'Awake north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that it's fragrance may spread abroad. Let my Lover come into His garden and taste its choice fruits.' The imagery of Your seeds being blown by the wind, carried all across this country, and growing into strong trees of faith, bearing fruit to provide for those around them, in order to give back to their community, is beautiful. I then picture You walking through the streets and smiling at Your beautiful children, Your strong trees, and it gives me rest. You know their condition and their needs, You know what needs to be done, and You will do it with the help of some faithful servants. I just pray that all the servants You have sent here have the same peace. That even when they want to take control of Your plans for this city because they cannot see how it will turn out, that You would speak humble trust into our hearts."
Before I tell my story of what happened this afternoon, in terms of God's provision, I want to backtrack to a couple of days ago. Something that, at the beginning of this trip, I really struggled with was the lack of alone-time I had where I could just be me and God in prayer. It is something I still have to work at in order to get in that quiet place here, living with 26 other people, but I am learning. I was really just craving some quiet-time with the Lord and I began to pray that I would be able to have the time, where no one would interrupt me. I woke up a half-hour early, just so I could try and get it in, but still people would walk by and start to talk to me, and it simply wasn't the same. Then the volunteer who was leading morning devotions said that he wasn't going to do the normal group devotions. He said that he was going to give us some scripture that the Lord had laid on his heart, and that we were allowed to take the normal time allotted for devotions to simply be alone with the Lord. That we could either meditate on the verses, or simply just be with God in any way we needed to. Here is the first amazing provision.
In my quiet time, I asked the Lord to speak something to me, anything He needed me to hear or do. Before I left for this trip, every time I asked this of God, He would simply respond with "just be with me, and recognize me in all you do." So, naturally, this is what I expected to hear. Instead He told me to volunteer to share a message at a secondary school this week. I was terrified. I have known that it would eventually be my turn to share, but I was so nervous for that day even when I didn't know it was coming. I asked repeatedly, "are you sure? really?" but I could not shake the voice in my heart urging me to share this week. I finally gave up and asked the Lord to show me what to say, because I certainly didn't know where to start, what they would need to hear, which scripture to read. I flipped open my Bible, and it opened to 2 Corinthians 4. I began to read some of the verses in that chapter that I had already underlined and knew this was what the Lord wanted me to share with these teenagers. It was 2 Corinthians 4:8-10; 16-17. It reads, "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you ... Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." At the time, I did not worry about what I would say with these verses, how I could best be able to explain them, because I'm not sure I fully believed that this week I would speak. However, the Lord is faithful to His word, and today I had to speak. We were planning on going to a secondary school, and a different person from my group was designated to speak. However, he ended up volunteering somewhere he worked at in 2007 when he was here, so my friend Diana asked me to share. I knew I had to say yes, and I was praising God for His impeccable plans, but I would be lying if I told you I wasn't nervous. The whole ride there I just prayed that God would give me the words, and that it would be His Spirit using me as a vessel, speaking through me, because I knew I did not have the words or the confidence necessary to truly touch these teenagers. When we started praise and worship at the school, the presence of the Spirit was loud that it was almost ringing in my ears, sending goosebumps up my arms. These kids were incredible. It was then that I realized these kids did not need a life-changing sermon, they simply needed a little encouragement in hard times. I did it, the Lord totally spoke to these kids, and it wasn't anything huge, but it was what He wanted them to know. It was simple encouragement to keep going no matter what hardships they face each day, because these troubles are only temporary and each day the Lord longs to renew us in faith, that His favorite thing to do is bless His children, and that we have an eternity of hope to look forward to.
I still can't believe how simply the Lord provided me with words for these kids. I have always thought it would be hard to discern exactly what He had to speak through me, that somehow it would be so deep that I wouldn't be able to decipher it. But He spelled it out so clearly, and I ended up talking to a girl at the end named Agatha who just thanked me so much and said that I had truly blessed her. She is an amazing girl as well, an aspiring doctor and incredibly smart. I hope to see her again.
Emily dear, I've been reading this and trying to keep up with your amazing journey. I'm so excited for all God is showing you and for all of the experiences you get to have.
ReplyDeleteI love you and miss you.