1,095 - 20

August 1st will mark the 1, 095th day that I have been not living in the same state, or city as my girlfriend.  And it will also mark the day that the lease on the apartment we rented, together, starts.

In 20 days, (or less!) I will be finally living in the same city and state as her.  Not to mention, also the same apartment.  I've thought about this time in my life for 1, 095 days now, and I always thought it would feel surreal.  That I wouldn't even be able to imagine it because of how long we haven't had that luxury.  But, really, I mostly just feel like, "it's about damn time."

Looking back, I know distance was right for us.  (Try to find anyone else who feels that way and I think you'll come up empty!)  We needed to be forced to be alone with ourselves and work on our own hurdles alone, in order to be able to be together in a healthy, loving relationship.  We needed to learn that the best kinds of relationships, are one in which two individual people can come together and celebrate, and cherish the other for who they are on their own, and who they become together.  For that, I am so grateful.

But now, we're ready.  We are so ready to be together.  To come home to each other everyday.  I think that's the part that will be surreal (but maybe, hopefully, it's just normal), coming home everyday and seeing her.   I think after a week we'll be like, "ok, so...one of us is supposed to leave now" and then WE WON'T.  AH.

I've been getting a lot of texts, calls, and letters from friends.  Some of my best, and some who have reconnected with me after a long time.  They all keep saying they can't wait to visit me & S when we move in together.  The part of me that believes in "signs" and karma and, my favorite phrase my momma taught me, "the universe will bring it to you," believes that this is a sign.  My friends see that I'm finally getting to the place I want to be, and happiness and contentment tend to draw people in.  I can't wait to have them visit me, us, (WHAT?!) and be a part of this new part of my life.  To be actively a part of it.


So to any friends who still read this, you are always welcome in our home.  Thank you for being such a huge part of my life, and our relationship, for the past 3 years.  That time apart from S, but with you, are part of what make us as strong as we are now. 

 

His Plan.

Psalm 116:7

"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you."

Oh, the Lord has been so good to me.

Already I am a quarter of the way done with my first semester of my Sophomore year here at Hope. It's crazy how fast time seems to go here. Lately I've been so caught up in all the things that life seems to throw at you in college: homework, tests, quizzes, the endless amount of activities and clubs that all want your attention. Quite frankly, it has picked me up off my solid tracks and driven me a bit mad.

As usual though, God has a way of taking my face in my hands and staring me straight in the eyes during these times. He forces me to pause while He whispers quietly, "Be still and know that I am God. For crying out loud Em, slow down and be with Me."

So this weekend I did just that, and in reflecting over all that God has given me lately, and all that He has shown me even just in the past couple weeks, my soul feels at rest knowing just how good He really is to me.

Last weekend, God reunited me with my friend Steph, my friend I met in Uganda who I know has been given to me as a gift from God, my partner in ministry. There are truly no words to describe the overwhelming joy my heart feels when I'm around her. Sometimes my heart feels too small for the love & fellowship we share, and it simply feels like it will burst at any moment. We both really needed to see each other this weekend, as we both needed reminders of different things. I needed reminding that I need to just be, just relax and trust that God will lead me the right way and in His timing. I needed to take things day by day, and not make any plans, but simply enjoy the blessings He is showering upon me. I needed reminding that I need to just live. How many times will God have to show me this simple lesson before I truly understand it? Oh I crave to live like that again, simple & daily in His Presence. When she's around, it's easier. I'm working on it.

There have been many things that have been confusing me lately, and instead of confronting all of these with God, I have put them off until I have time to do that. I was finally so confused and desperate that I had to take this weekend "off" to just sit and be with God and let Him speak, and that's exactly what He did. It's amazing the Peace that has settled in my heart, just from listening to the simple truths that God had been speaking to me all along, I just had not trusted in Him, myself, or His messengers.

This year, God has shown me that He wants to teach me how to be with Him, living daily in His Presence, enjoying His blessings. But more than that, He wants to teach me how to better love others, by teaching me how to better love Him. He wants to show me more of who He is, and how His Heart works, so that someday I can love others in the same way. He wants me to experience true love, true Godly Love, and He wants me to give that same Love in return. He wants to teach me how to Love, and how to be loved. He has called me to community and fellowship, because He knows that is where I experience my greatest blessings. I am honored and humbled by this call, though eagerly I accept it. He has placed some incredible people in my life to teach me all of these things, and for them I am more than blessed. This is why God has given me Steph, specifically for this purpose. Just her presence teaches me love more than she knows, and just her presence allows me to understand where God's Spirit is moving me in that moment. She teaches me how to Love and understand God and others better, just by being with me. I love her so much for that, and praise God daily for His Provision of her in my life.

[Today, Daddy, I have fallen in love with You all over again. Thank-you.]

adjusting.

So I've been back in America for a little over a week now, and there is much that has hit me very hard, but at the same time there is a peace that I can only explain as His Presence.

Well, first of all, walking through the Detroit airport was incredibly scary, and I felt really weird as I watched the all-American families going about their days as if nothing had happened. When I was in Uganda, it felt as if there was no other world besides that place. Nothing else existed, and even if it did, it had stopped to watch and see the things I was seeing and feel the things I was feeling. But then I saw the poster families with their strollers and designer diaper bags, I saw girls in these teeny jean shorts spending how much money on a magazine? I wanted to slap the five-year-old who was throwing a temper tantrum because his dad wouldn't let him get the sucker he wanted. I also wanted to slap the old bitty on the plane who instead of asking politely if the person in her seat had the wrong seat, yelled at the stewardess, loud enough so the whole plane could hear her (it was a small plane) that someone was in her seat, as if she was just as mature as that little five-year-old. That was when I realized that for everyone else in the world, life went on. The people I was walking past, some would never know what I had seen, some will never even know that the things I've seen are real. That frustrated and saddened me, a lot.

However, I was very very blessed when I got to see my family at the airport, and on top of that one of my best friends from school Heidi was there. She had driven the three hours from her house to mine, and then took off a few days from work so she could be with me for a few days when I got home. I was floored. Something I have struggled with recently is the fact that in my life, I haven't had very many solid friends. Friends that I can count on to want the best for me, support me, who will love me regardless of what I say or do, and who will stay by my side for a long time. This was one of the reasons why it was so hard to leave my friends in Uganda, I didn't want them to just be another memory. But seeing Heidi at the airport, it's hard to describe how blessed I felt. I couldn't really hear because my ears hadn't popped yet, but apparently I screamed really loud, ran and gave her the biggest hug. In that hug, I simply looked heavenward and I could almost see Him just smiling at us saying, "This girl's here to stay, and she is a good friend to you. The others that I have gifted you with as well, and you know which ones have been given to you by Me, are here to stay too. They are my gift to you, enjoy them."

I said a quick prayer of thanks and began my story-telling.

In all, yes, I miss Uganda. I miss the way life is lived there. I love that lifestyle, and for some weird reason, I can honestly say that I know I will be back there someday. I don't know for how long, where, with who, or when but I can just tell that I will be back. I have to go back. I miss the people, I miss the culture, I miss my kids, oh man how I miss my kids. I have talked to people who are still in Uganda since I've been home, and there is one girl Riyanna, the 3-year-old neighbor kid, who I got very attached to. I would be outside in the compound and I would hear her yelling over the fence, "Emily, I want to come down and play!" I would let her down and we would just do the same thing over and over again, but she loved it. I loved that girl so much, I still love her so much. Apparently she has been saying my name now that I'm gone, and that just makes me want to board a plane tonight just to be able to hold her again and let her kiss my face. I miss my squatter kids, the place where my sponsor child Josephine lives, and all the times we would go over there and they would sing songs for us, praising God that we would take the time to visit them and love them.

At the same time, even though my heart desperately wants to be in all those places with all those kids, there is an unexplainable peace in my heart. I know those two months were exactly what I needed, and where I needed to be, and I know that going back to school in a few days and for the next 3 years is exactly what I'm supposed to do. They will always be in my heart, and hopefully I will be able to see them again, if not just to say that I remember them. But, for now, I am exactly where I need to be. I will be moving into school on the 25th and I could not be more excited. I now know that I have some amazing friends that I am eager to see, to listen to their stories, and tell them some of my own. I have some amazing professors that I am eager to have coffee with and discuss deep topics of life with. I am eager to start my classes, all of which (except for French) are classes for a Social Work major, and I am excited to see how I will like this and if this is what He has really planned out for me.

Their beautiful, joyful, faces and their incredible faith will always be in the back of my mind.

But today, today I need to pack for school and get ready for another year, another fresh start. Today I am taking the childlike faith that has inspired me for 2 months and practicing it. I am taking the hand of Jesus and letting Him take me on an adventure.

See you at school.

flying back...

So I’m sitting here at the Amsterdam airport, realizing I haven’t updated in a very long while. The reason for this is because I have been wanting to spend this last week with the people and in the country I have fallen in love with as much as possible, without feeling like I have to update my blog. I have just wanted to enjoy life.

Also, I read my last post just to get my bearings on what all I would like to cover / the last thing I wrote about, and realized that I still have a lot to learn about letting go of my plans and that this might be a lesson I will be trying to learn my entire life.

Disclaimer: this post may not make much sense, and might be a little scattered because as of right now I can’t really figure out what’s going on in my head.

Anyways, this week we did our usual projects, and I went to most of them, all while having the most amazing time with the most amazing people. It has truly been a blessing to meet and be friends with all of them. There is something so special and unique about living with people who are all striving towards one purpose, who have one goal, one passion, one love: Christ. I feel like this is what makes summer camps so life-changing, mission trips so unique and inspiring. It is on these “getaways” that you don’t have to search very hard to find someone you really grow to absolutely love, someone you want to know and talk to about everything for the rest of your life, much less simply find someone you’re compatible with. The people who are living right beside you are the people you've been searching for your entire life, the people who's passions and dreams match your own and make you even more excited to carry on with life and fulfill these dreams, to live passionately. This is a feeling I already miss. I miss waking up and walking through the cockroach-infested kitchen, and while preparing my breakfast getting hugs from all my amazing friends and answering their questions about my night, positive they all genuinely would care if something had went wrong. I miss the beat of the African drums calling us all to worship before we humble ourselves in serving our God. I miss the feeling of shamelessness as we all moved and sang in whichever way the Spirit led, because we all felt that same tug on our hearts. I miss being at the projects and catching one of my teammates watching me with proud looks on their faces, or capturing my precious moments on their cameras, as I did the same to them. We really loved each other, and saw so much joy and love in the work we were doing that we couldn't help but be encouraging and supportive of one another.

This is automatically the first thing I missed as I walked out of the comfort of my beautiful, amazing, inspiring friend's arms and into the cold, westernized airport. This is the first thing I thought about as the tears fell from my face while reading the letters that they had wrote to me.

I'm about to board my next flight from Amsterdam to Chicago so this is the last thing I will leave you with. I will update about the best and worst day of my 2 months later, and probably a week after I have been back I will update with my thoughts on America, we'll see how that goes.

[Nkwagala Uganda and all that comes with it.]

getting lost in the city

Today was my last free day in Uganda.

Steph, Amy, and I left in the afternoon for my last trip to the city to get some gifts from the craft market and have a good Indian meal. This was quite interesting because we were meeting the Ugandan who was going to help us at the craft market, so we had to navigate ourselves to the city. We ran into one of the other Ugandan volunteers on our way to catch a taxi, and he told us where we should get off the taxi and how much it should cost. We thanked him and grabbed the first taxi that didn’t charge us about 600 shillings extra because we are white. When we got off at our stop, Steph began to lead because she knew the way. I was thinking of a different craft market, but knowing my directional skills, I simply trusted whoever decided to lead. However, Amy believed she knew where the other one was and that was the one Jayan was meeting us. We knew Amy’s directional skills around Uganda were probably as good as mine, but for some reason we let her lead the way. We ended up walking circles around Kampala. She was convinced there was a craft market underneath the mall, and we probably walked around the mall 6 times before finally deciding that we should have followed Steph. We called Jayan and asked us to meet us at the mall, and once she did, she took us on a taxi to the craft market we were headed to in the first place. Our trip took about 2 hours longer than necessary, however it makes for a pretty hilarious story. (I love you Amy!) At the craft market I got some last minute gifts, though it is always hard for me to shop there because everything is so cool and unique that it makes me want it all so I’m sure I’m going to regret not getting a few things, but oh well. We then went back to the mall, seriously, I probably could tell you my way around Kampala, or at least the space between this craft market and the mall like the back of my hand. We went to the Indian restaurant that I absolutely love and sat at this awesome table that was on a raised platform so when we were waiting for our food we could lay down and lounge, and then we sat cross-legged to eat. We sat there for a very long time, soaking in the goodness of a nice meal with boneless chicken (amazing!), surrounded by the best company anyone could ask for, and the interesting, inspiring, hilarious, heartbreaking, and humbling stories of life.

We went back to the house, satisfied with our Kampala adventure and the wonderful company, even though we all knew it would be my last.

SAFARI!

Well, to put it briefly, safari was absolutely amazing.  It was exactly what I needed.

There was a group of 9 of us (including the driver) who went this weekend, all of which (except for maybe one or two) I haven’t had the chance, or taken the opportunity, to get to know very well.  So I was definitely nervous, but also excited at the same time because I could tell that this experience would really bring us closer, even if only a little bit.  It ended up being a lot more than that, and I made a friend who I hope, and pray, will be there forever.  I’ll explain more about that later though. 

We left early in the morning on Sunday and drove the absolutely GORGEOUS 6-hour drive to Murchison Falls National Park.  Seriously, the drive itself was incredible.  The scenery and the jokes we shared just really relaxed me right away.  It felt like such a luxurious vacation.  (Thanks Mom!)  We stopped in Masindi, a small village town, for lunch, and it was so nice to have some recognizable food that I would honestly want in the States.  A real cheeseburger and french fries.  Seriously, every time I leave the country, this is what I crave, and it was amazing to have that after a month of being here without it.  We then continued on to the final two hours of our drive, and started heading into the park.  On our way to the hotel, we were following a car and we watched him swerve off the incredibly bumpy dirt road, hit a ditch, start to flip causing all four-wheels to leave the ground, before smashing into a tree.  I didn’t see it happening, I just saw the car smashed around the tree after it happened, but nonetheless, it was definitely scary and a huge reminder that every minute we have here is a gift.  Luckily, the driver was the only one in the car, and he was completely fine, just a little shaken. 

Before we went to the hotel, we arrived at the point where we were going to hike down to see Murchison Falls.  We got out and began hiking uphill first, to be able to see the falls from the top of a cliff.  The view was incredible.  I had a very familiar feeling in this very unfamiliar place.  I felt the same way I felt when a few good friends and I went to the Bowl during Spring Semester and ate dinner while watching the sunset.  Total peace.  I don’t know that I can completely explain it, but I was completely at peace.  The verse and song that ran through my head the entire day, and in fact, the entire weekend was John 3:8, and the song “Wherever the Wind Blows” by Pillar.

 “The wind blows wherever it pleases.  You hear it’s sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going.  So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” 

Every time I would start to get anxious, I would simply close my eyes and listen to the sound of the breeze.  I would feel the goose bumps rising on my arms, I felt enveloped in the wind, a part of it, and as the wind passed over me, my anxiety left with it. 

We took a bunch of pictures at the top of this cliff, and it was really fun because the girl I have made friends with is just as big of a photo geek as I am, probably bigger, so she helped me out a lot.  Then we took a hike down the cliff to the bottom of the River Nile so we could get some more shots of the falls.  It was really cool to just sit on a rock in the middle of the Nile, looking in awe at His incredible Creation.  I am so blessed that I got to do that.  We then took the terrible trek back up the cliff, which nearly took my breath away, and not in the way that the beauty of the falls did.  I got to follow my friend around while she did some video and in doing that I got some pretty cool shots myself.  It was really fun to finally have someone who I could lag behind the group with in order to get a perfect shot. 

We left soon after and checked into the hotel, and it seriously looked like a honeymoon spot.  We had one “hut” per two people that had two beds and a shelf set and mirror inside, and a bathhouse outside.  My friend and I stayed in hut #2, otherwise called “Simba.”  It was so much fun!   On the drive up, this girl and I discussed how we were both really big cuddlers, which pretty much sealed the deal on our friendship for me.  That was when we decided to room together, which was a really great decision because I got to hear a really cool testimony and gain an amazing friend who has now become probably one of the closest friends I have made here.   

The next day we woke up really early for breakfast and headed for the ferry that would take us across the Nile for the game ride, meaning the ride where we would see all the animals.  Once we got across the river, we all piled into the van after popping the roof up so that we could all sit on the roof in order to be able to see everything around us a lot better.  This in itself made my weekend.  I got to sit on the top of a safari van, while driving through the African grasslands, with a view of the Nile and various African animals in their natural habitat.  Excuse me if this whole post is completely cheesy, but it was absolutely amazing.  Again, the wind against my face, pushing my hair behind my ears, the stillness of the scenery, the feeling of my bare feet folded underneath my legs on top of the safari van, the absolute freedom as I lifted my head and hands to the sky while driving down the dirt road through the reservation, was extremely exhilarating and peaceful at the same time.  Again, my adventurous spirit soars. 

We saw everything from water buffalos, to giraffes, hippos, crocodiles, elephants, birds, antelopes, warthogs, and gazelles.  It was amazing.  We then boarded another boat that took us down the Nile near the falls, which was where we saw the hippos, and I took some really great pictures of the Nile.  We went back to the hotel and took a swim in the pool, yes the pool, it wasn’t anything like an American pool, but it felt luxurious despite the horseflies nested in the jets that were above the water level because of the leak in the bottom of the pool.  Our last day we just drove home, stopping for a decent lunch once again, and returned to the house. 

This weekend was everything I needed.  The Lord provided me with a weekend devoted to drawing closer to Him.  I honestly felt refreshed and renewed, and coming back to the house was exciting because I was really eager to get back into our ministry. 

“The wind blows wherever it pleases.  You hear it’s sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going.  So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”  

Hello, Goodbye.

So, I will use this post to update about the week thus far, though it has seemed to be a blur since Monday night. 

In the morning on Monday we went to Sanyu Babies Home.  I spent the first part of the day in the smaller baby class, which I have decided is not my favorite job.  I can handle it for a little bit, like feeding time or washing time or something, but just sitting there with them for so long is really hard.  Part of the reason why I like Sanyu is that it is a lot more organized than Nsambya and I know the kids get enough care and attention, and their brains are stimulated.  (At least most of them.)  However, it is really hard to sit there in a room of 15 babies when there are about 20 volunteers all wanting to hold one.  I just feel useless there sometimes.  After a little while of watching other volunteers steal the babies I was playing with originally, I finally stood up and started taking some pictures.  This brought me so much joy.  I really love the photographs I am able to take here, and to see the joy on other’s faces when I catch one of their precious moments.  After discovering that our ministry was officially allowed to take pictures, I went outside to take some more pictures and saw that we were having song-time with the 2 and 3 year olds.  I officially love the toddlers at Sanyu.  They are so crazy and absolutely hilarious.  I spent a lot of the time taking pictures of my friend Emily, since it was her last day in Uganda. 

After visiting Sanyu, we came home and had lunch and then had our planning meeting, probably the quickest meeting we’ve had yet.  I spent the rest of the day hanging out with Emily and some others before she left. 

Oh my word, I never thought losing a friend that I made in probably less than a month would be so hard.  We had our goodbye prayer circle for Emily, Jessie, and Kevin, and then me and my friend Jenna went with them to the airport.  As for Jessie, she was the one who came with me on my flight to Uganda; I am now the only person left who came the same time as me.  Kevin, he was really great because he was incredibly sarcastic all the time, but if you pulled him away he was really wise and really good to talk to.  But Emily, oh goodness.  She was someone I just felt myself with.  I really believe we will be friends long after this trip, and I can only pray this will happen.  She is truly an incredible person.  I think I have stayed pretty strong this entire month, but once I got home and realized the person I always went to was gone, I just broke down.  I feel really bad for the 5 new people who are here, because I know that first week is really challenging, and I am not doing very much to help them transition. 

Today we went to Modern Infants Primary School again, and it was really fun and crazy as usual.  Afterwards we had lunch and went to King Solomon’s Secondary School in Kyambogo.  I have to admit, when we got there I got another wave of sadness at my friend leaving because she and I had some fun times together at this school.  I think this week is going to be my breaking point, all of it. 

Anyways, I really enjoyed the program we did there, and then afterwards we stayed after to talk with a few of them before they had to go to class.  I got to talking to some girls, one named Fiona and another named Maureen.  Fiona was really stylish (or as they say here, “smart”) and said she wanted to be a journalist.  Fiona started to get a little bored of me I think, and she left to talk to someone else, so I got to talk with Maureen.  Her story and the absolute reality of the suffering here hit me like a ton of bricks, causing me to leave the school with tears in my eyes, angry that I still can’t think of anything I can do to help her.  I asked her how she was, what year she was in school, all the usual questions, however when I had been through all these questions we still had a little time left.  I asked her how her life was, and if she would tell me about her family.  She started to get emotional as she told me that she was in Senior 5 (one year before she graduates from secondary) but she is never sure if she will be able to make it to graduation.  Her family comes from a village far away from her school, though both of her parents died when she was young.  She had an older brother who was 23, and three younger sisters.  Her older brother is working to pay for Maureen’s education, though he himself has not been educated past P.6 (6^th grade).  Her sisters were not in school because their brother could only afford one at a time.  She constantly feels pressured to do well in school and get a good paying job to pay back her brother and help him care for their sisters.  The tone in her voice was so genuinely desperate that my eyes started filling with tears just listening to her.  I asked if her family was Christian, and if she herself was “born-again” she said she was, and then she asked me to pray for her and her family and to continue praying for them even after we left that day.  I did so, though I didn’t feel like I deserved to because I knew that I had much more than her materially, but I still could not think of a way to help her and her family.  She then brought me to her classroom and had me pray for her extremely immature classmates, I won’t explain the harsh adjectives used here because in comparison to the story I had just heard, the comments I got from some of her classmates infuriated me.  She held my hand the entire rest of the time as I asked her more questions about her family, searching for a way in.  The only things I can think of are to sponsor her until she finishes school and then move on to sponsor her sisters and brother in the same way once she has graduated.  However, there is a girl in the Acholi squatter’s area that I was thinking of sponsoring already, so I’m completely unsure of what to do.  I don’t think I’ve ever been that silent in the car ride on the way home.

Later on we actually did go and visit the squatter's home, and I was torn even more when little Josephine, the girl I was thinking about sponsoring, asked the first person out of the car where I was.  When she saw me step out of the car she ran up to me and jumped in my arms.  She refused to let go, burying her head in my shoulder, as I asked her how school was, how she was, how her parents were.  She answered all my questions after which I whispered into her ear, “Nkwagala nyo nyo Josephine” which means: “I love you so so much Josephine” in Luganda.  She turned her head towards my right ear and whispered, “Nkwagala Emily.”  This was the highlight of my visit there, as afterwards it got a little chaotic and my strength was tested once again.  We had gone at a time where the kids were just getting back from school.  Needless to say, all the mzungus at these slum houses attracted a lot of attention from the kids coming home from school, and even the ones who didn’t live there came to say hello.  Some of them came for legitimate reasons, because they wanted to play and be loved on, while others came to see what they could steal from the mzungus.  It broke my heart as I heard one of our girls tell Vanessa, who passed the message onto me, that the kids from school were making fun of them and were stealing the gifts we had passed out.  It was absolutely chaotic, and it was so frustrating because if we had just organized it a little better before jumping straight into it, it would have worked out so well.  This is one of my frustrations, many of the Ugandans do not communicate with each other or with the American MST’s very well, and it causes many of our projects to fail or not run as smoothly as we would like.  Vanessa apologized to our kids before we left, and our hearts broke when they immediately began telling us about their lives, only for us to cut them short because we had to go.  We promised we would be back soon.  I am praying that the other kids who witnessed us talking and playing with them will not tease them in school and will not rob their houses searching for the gifts the white people gave to them. 

I have cried at least once every day this week, and I don’t see an end nearing.  He is showing me His heart for His children, which is beautiful.  But He is also showing me how it feels when His heart is broken over them, which is excruciating.

sabbath.

I really needed this weekend, which I took as a Sabbath and a time to get some things that I have been meaning to do.  It seriously refilled and refreshed me, and got me re-excited for the ministry God has called me to do here.  

In the morning, I got to write a letter to one of the girls I have gotten really close with and will really miss, which was good because she was gone visiting her sponsor kid in Luweero and I haven’t had time to do it since she’s always around.  I also ordered a copy of the devotional I brought that my mentor had given to me because she really likes when I share with her the things that the Lord is teaching me through it, and I really feel like it would bless her a lot.  Then the people who didn’t go on safari, rafting, or bungee jumping that day all went into town to get some last minute (for them) gifts from the craft market, and a few of them went out to eat while 3 of us returned to the house for lunch.  

After lunch, I hung around the house a little bit and answered some e-mails and just relaxed.  I went outside to the backyard and had the God-time I had been craving.  I didn’t even realize I was sitting out there for about an hour and a half.  It amazes me how incredibly spot-on this devotional book has been for my trip.  I also tried to journal a bit in my prayer journal I brought, but that took a long time.  It seriously helped a lot though because I ended up sorting out a lot of things that have been running through my mind simply by writing down on paper exactly what has been in my head.  

After this, I sat back and closed my eyes for a little meditative prayer time.  This is something I absolutely love in my relationship with Christ.  When I take the time to do this, he blesses me richly, and I was excited that I would finally get to do it here.  It’s really hard to explain, but basically this time was a lot different than usual and I started to freak out.  However, I really feel it is simply because of my change in location, but not in the way you are thinking.  My space in this world, my role in this generation is changing, and therefore I am changing.    

In this time with the Lord, I was reminded of a poem a good friend of mine recently wrote and shared in her blog.  It was so inspiring and beautiful, and dealt with a lot of things going on in my head right now.  I felt God nudging me to try something like that, so I asked for His hand to guide mine in my journal, and I simply began writing.  The words just came out.  They flowed out of my pen, onto my journal, in a poetic fashion that I have never been able to do on my own.  There are still some things I think I want to add or delete here and there, but once it is perfected, I will post it.  This piece of prose, poetry, whatever you want to call it was really special for me to read because I know it was not me who wrote it.  I read the words that His Spirit formed and am stunned into awe.  I now know my purpose here, and it’s not this huge revelation or anything, but I know at least one reason why I am here this summer.  I know His will and plan is perfect, and I know what He is trying to teach me, at least right now.  I won’t give it all away just yet though, maybe in my next post.  

I left this time with God fully refreshed and invigorated, ready for ministry.  I felt joyful and I wanted people to notice that it was not my joy, but His.  I saw the neighbor kids, Rihanna & Jeremiah (3 & 4 years old, respectively) and decided to take some time out of my day to play with them.  That was SO much fun!  They are absolutely crazy, and it is easy to invest in them since they live right next door, and are related to one of the Ugandan volunteers, so they are at the house all the time.  I am really excited to invest in them over the next month of my stay.  

This morning we went to St. Kakumba Chapel in Kyambogo, and thank the Lord we only had to attend the service.  It ended up being a really great service because this woman preached and she was really funny and was easy to pay attention to, plus the content of her sermon was really deep and insightful.  The rest of the day we just hung out around the house, those of us who didn’t go on safari this weekend.  Vanessa and I decided to go back and visit the squatters, but this time we brought my laptop, some sweets, and The Lion King DVD.  It was SO cute to watch them watching the movie.  The little ones would giggle as Timon & Pumba started singing about fuyes (farts), while the older ones would translate what was happening to them.  It was possibly one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen.  Then after the movie was over, we had about a half-hour before we had to get back, and they wanted to sing and dance for us as they always do.  It was really cool because they did a traditional Acholi dance, and I felt like a proud mother as I videotaped them haha.  

I’m very excited to post my “purpose” post, but I want to save it until I have my piece of prose perfected.  Tomorrow we are going to the Babies Homes in the morning and then spending the afternoon planning the week.  Plus, this Saturday I will be attending a traditional Ugandan wedding ceremony.  However, this is not the actual wedding.  In their culture, they have an “Introduction Ceremony” before the wedding.  This basically serves the same purpose as an engagement party; only it is a way bigger deal than the actual wedding day.  Every attendee must wear the traditional dress, according to the bride’s tribe, and there are certain rituals that we will have to learn: how to kneel correctly, when to kneel, how to dance, when to dance, etc.  This ceremony is set in place for the families of the bride and groom to be officially introduced to each other, and when I say families I mean full-extended-cousins-of-cousins kind of families.  They find it really important to have as many people as possible at the Introduction so they have more people that will hold them accountable to keep their marriage strong, and bear witness to their vows.  This is also the time when the groom presents the dowry to the bride’s parents.  Yes, they still use a dowry system here.  Only most of the time they don’t use money, they use cows.  So the groom will either present the family with all cows, cows and some goats, maybe some chickens and fruits, and definitely a little bit of money in there as well.  This is why it takes so long for a Ugandan man to marry, because cows here are very expensive and some parents are very picky about the dowry.  I’m not sure what Sarah’s dowry is, but I am excited to see this traditional transaction.  I will also be leaving for safari on Sunday the 26th in the morning, and will be returning on Tuesday, so there won’t be any posts during that time.  I love you all, and I hope you are bearing with my super long posts, but most of all I hope you are blessed by them!

In His Perfect Love,

Em

good day.

Today was a really good day.

Sorry to everyone who has been disappointed by the frustrations in my last posts, I am trying to keep this blog as honest as possible, and if this is the case, 2 months in a foreign place is most likely going to have a few frustrations.  

In the morning we went to the Babies Homes, and I returned to Nsambya.  It was really nice to just sit with the "moms" and peel potatoes, and then just hold babies.  Really relaxing, seriously.

Then in the afternoon we got to return to the Remand Home.  I was very eager about this because I had bought some things for Irene, including a Luganda Bible, knickers, and a towel.  On my way there I said a little prayer, that she wouldn't be there.  She was innocent and had her court date on Wednesday and I was hoping she would be released.  But I was also hoping I would get to see her.  When I got there, I scanned the room and couldn't find her.  I sat down uncomfortably in our usual spot in the classroom, the first time I had felt awkward there.  A girl, Susan, who was friends with Irene came and sat beside me.  I asked her how she had been, and if she knew where Irene was.  She told me her court date was actually today, so that was why she was not here.  We then started the program and it was absolutely insane.  The kids went crazy and it was so much fun to worship with them.  They were dancing, jumping, drumming, shaking like it was their job and it was so much fun to see their smiling faces despite their unfortunate circumstances.  After the message, I started talking to Susan again, asking why she was here and if she would get a chance to get released like the others.  She told me that she had been working for someone for 6 months and had not received any pay.  She decided to ask her boss about it, and he reported her for stealing his money.  She said the judge even acknowledged that he was using her for child labour, something that is unfortunately very common here, but she was still sentenced to serve her term at the Remand Home.  She said she was going to be there until August 19.  All of a sudden, this girl who was just glowing with joy, came bounding into the classroom, and I noticed it was Irene.  She was no longer in her uniform, but in daily clothes.  She ran over to me and gave me a huge hug, with an incredible smile to follow, as she screamed for joy that she had been released.  She was going to stay in Remand Home for a while until she could get money to take her home to Entebbe, and then she would be free to go.  I had never seen her so happy and excited, and when we talked she didn't whisper to me out of embarrassment, she spoke as loud as she could with such joy.  However, she had just spent the entire day in court so she was really hungry, so I let her go and eat after giving her the things I brought her.  I started talking to Susan again, and she told me that she really wanted a Bible.  I guess this caused me to realize how much of a baby I have been here.  Before I left for this trip, the Lord laid it on my heart to use a certain decently large portion of my money for Bibles.  I was going to buy them beforehand, but the people here suggested I wait as some of them can only read Luganda.  As of now, what 4 weeks into my stay here?  I have only bought one Bible.  I also realize that there are so many people here who are just craving love and attention, and yet I am trying to limit myself to one or two people at each project we go to.  This is the reason why I agreed to buy her a Bible, and will be buying some more Bibles for a friend who can't afford to buy ones for the kids she has connected with.  I've decided to become more proactive in fulfilling at least one of the roles God has set for me here, because it is so easy and it is a huge seed that can definitely be grown with the correct resources.  As we were about to leave, Irene came back from eating and ran and gave me a huge hug.  She said to me: "Emily, will you just pray for me right now, now is a time to rejoice!"  I eagerly agreed, and asked her if there was anything specific she wanted prayer for.  She thought for a few seconds then said: "No.  You just pray whatever you feel is in your heart."  This just astounded me.  Almost every child I have prayed for has asked for something, for God to provide their school fees is the main one, but I've even gotten one asking me to pray they will get an American sponsor.  But this girl, who was just released from juvenile detention, had no money to get back home, no parents back at home (she lives with her aunt), and no other family members, had left school because of being arrested and didn't know how she would be received when she returned to school, she didn't have anything that she felt like she needed prayer for.  She simply felt blessed that she had been released.  I prayed for her, gave her another huge hug through her outstanding joy, and left, possibly with a portion of her own joy.  

Later today, me and Vanessa decided to take a boda-boda to visit the Acholi squatters to give them the vaseline we bought for them and see how they were doing.  We got there and immediately all the kids we had seen before raced up to us and gave us a huge hug.  Even the moms smiled and waved at us before coming over and greeting us.  I just love how connected we are with that place, and how amazing those kids are.  We gave the gift to the eldest child, since she is responsible for getting the kids ready for school in the morning, and she said she would try to distribute it equally amongst them all.  I felt really bad because it seemed that my two jars of vaseline were a pitiful gift in comparison with what they need, but they were grateful still.  We couldn't stay long, but we promised we would come back on Sunday and visit after church.  Vanessa suggested to me that we bring a laptop with a movie and some ice cream for them, just as a little party since Vanessa is leaving soon and all her weekends already have things planned.  I am so excited to get to do this with them.  

Also, just as a little update on the team, we just got a few more people in as the other two left, and one is from NORTHERN IRELAND.  It is the coolest thing ever, and I know I sound like a nerd, but I could just listen to her talk all day.  I guess I knew there was an Irish accent from movies and such, but I always pictured them as fake.  She is very outgoing and bubbly and I just love being around her.  Yes, she has already said I can visit her when I am in Europe this spring.  So now I will be visiting my friend Hannah in Bristol, England; Amy Larder in South Hampton, England; Amy Kyle's parents in London, England; and Amy Kyle in Liverpool, England (where she goes to University) and in Belfast, Northern Ireland.  I am so excited.  I have also found out that one of the Ugandans who I have gotten very close with will be doing some ministry in Bath, England for a year, so I will get to visit her as well which is so exciting!  While all these newbies are very exciting, it means that many of the ones I have connected with are leaving.  I am sad to see many of them go, as five of them leave on Monday and five come in on Tuesday, but I am excited to meet more people and hear more stories.  There are so many incredible people in this world, and I am proud to say that I know a good few handfuls of them.